Category: C

more like "kill me"

store: bevmo
type: american adjunct lager
abv: 4.90%

oh those american adjunct lagers… they’re sooo run of the mill and this one is no exception…

sure it was made in the same country as my favorite national soccer team (one of ’em at least), but this one was “ho hum”… no need to go further with this one i guess… you get the point

i do remember that juan and andy brought this over when we watched pacquiao put the beat down on cotto… it was supposed to be a filipino beer (san mig) and a puerto rican beer, but apparently, those aren’t easily found at your local bevmo… so argentina was thrown in as a substitute… it’s all the same tho — all brown right? (that’s racist)

beeradvocate: C-
me: C

just found out that josephsbrau == trader joe's
just found out that josephsbrau == trader joe's

store: trader joe’s
type: kölsch
abv: 4.80%
suggested by: debbie morales

wow — didn’t realize i hadn’t posted this up yet

well i wasn’t much of a fan of this brew… i was hoping for a refreshing mild (in flavor) taste, but it wasn’t like that.

flavor was boring… it wasn’t terrible… just didn’t make me say “ooh that’s nice” — i wouldn’t get this again.

hell, i even tried drinking it outside while cleaning my car (whilst wearing daisy dukes and uggs) — now get that image outta your head!

beeradvocate: B-
me: C

word of advice: stick to the blow!
word of advice: stick to the blow!

store: colombia
type: american adjunct lager
abv: 3.90%
suggested by: juan

drank this on the heels of the aforementioned club colombia — had a slightly differing taste. and by that i mean it didn’t really taste like anything.

juan mentioned that colombians don’t really have a taste for dark beers so this is the best they’ve got… there’s the phrase about not saying anything if you don’t have anything nice to say right? so i’ll let this dood on beer advocate say it:

“This is one of the blandest, most lifeless lagers I’ve tasted. That said, it doesn’t taste bad. It just tastes like club soda with a splash of beer.”

ehhh… i’ll have to agree…

HOWEVER, that’s not saying that the effort to get the beer to me is overlooked… lawlz… i appreciate it, juan — congratulations, you have your flag in the beer list AND you’re pregnant!

beeradvocate: C-
me: C

islands frosty mugs ftw!
islands frosty mugs ftw!

store: islands
type: hefeweizen
abv: 5.10%

gettin’ close to magical 5-0… should i try to go for 100 by the end of the year? that’s probably a bad idea…

so i wanted to try something different at islands… a lot of people, like rob, like drinking hef’s… not me — strange cuz i like witbier‘s too (i just hate germans i guess)

anyway, this had the same type of flavor as other hefs… that fruitish, vanilla, clove, etc. this particular one tasted like crazy banana though — blech

the beer wouldn’t go away fast enough — even after drinking, later in the afternoon, i was burping up bananas (insert joke here)… not a fan of this one

beeradvocate: B-
me: C

not tyra banks
not tyra banks... bah zing!

store: ?
type: munich dunkel lager
abv: 5.40%

ok… so maybe i was a bit harsh (okay, a lot) with my review on mexican beers. so i gave negra modelo a shot — maybe it’ll change my mind about its amigos

nope.

first of all — it’s a strange ugly bottle (and with food and drink, it’s about presentation!)

then it just had a weird metallic flavor that stayed throughout… toward the end of the bottle, it took on a creamy mouthfeel (yea… i’m pickin’ up the lingo)

beeradvocate: B-
me: C

can't win them all...
can't win them all...

store: bevmo
type: lambic – fruit
abv: 4.00%

now that’s a crazy fruity beer — i don’t know why i got it… i think it’s cuz i thought, “hey… the peche was pretty dang good — lemme try this one out”

well… it wasn’t that great at all — it was like eating 50 sour apple jolly ranchers… ridiculous! after every sip, i’d be puckering my lips cuz it was so sweet and tart… dane cook would definitely not like this — he’d stab me in the jaw for buying it

with the way it smelled, it woulda been better served as a bath & body works hand soap

with all my bitching, i still finished it… but my stomach didn’t like me for doing so

chicks would dig this beer tho… ha

beeradvocate: B
me: C

insert pollack joke here...
insert pollack joke here...

store: kashtan
type: browar amber
abv: 5.60%

i thought — a beer named after copernicus, that’s gotta be good!

nope… wasn’t that great — poland shoulda come out strong, but instead, they just kinda floundered

i couldn’t really put my finger on the flavor… but according to andy, it was a little wheaty with a hint of hefeweizen

maybe i’ll try the pythagoras beer

beeradvocate: B-
me: C

mulligan maybe?
mulligan maybe?

store: kashtan
type: baltic porter
abv: 7.00%

ok… i gave this beer a C… and i normally like porters as of late. but i think it’s because this one was actually lukewarm when i had it, which kinda put it at an immediate disadvantage.

well.. knowing that, this one tasted like chocolate and from what i remember, it was super dark and rich.

i’ll maybe try this one again… i dunno… i’m not really feelin’ the russia beers

beeradvocate: B
me: C

ochakovo-ruby
at least the russians excel at vodka-making and gymnastics

store: kashtan bistro (more on this place later)
type: vienna lager
abv: 3.60%

strange… a beer that isn’t on beeradvocate — it has other ochakovo’s, but not the ruby (this is the closest, but not really)

it’s a super low abv, which was good for lunch *cough*… i had it with a roast beef sandwich, which complimented it pretty well.

on first pour, it was pretty cloudy and bubbly (effervescent is the term i’m looking for) — the taste didn’t really get me

i find it odd that this site reviewed it like so:
Hints of red summer fruits in the aroma, these give a clue to the plummy caramel flavours which develop.

either that’s complete bs or the reviewer has the most amazing palate known to man — i tasted nothing of the sort (i will, however, be reviewing a REALLY good beer flavored with caramel pretty soon — ooh… a teaser)

overall, the russians should maybe use the same effort that they use on their vodka making into their beer making…

beeradvocate: C-
me:
C-